While You Were Sleeping (March 19, 2012)

You'll have to forgive me but over spring break I was having so much fun I couldn't possibly bring myself to sit still long enough to create a post coherent enough for consumption. But worry not. This week I'm catching up. Starting with today's post. In fact let's just focus on today.

I chose today's song, While You Were Sleeping by Elvis Perkins (released in 2007), because it's been in my head all day and it's perfect for how I feel today.

I love sleeping. I often have trouble getting to sleep and sometimes have to force myself to bed or I'll be up all night. And I love dreaming. I often remember my dreams, especially the more vivid and visceral ones. I love this song because of those two things.

This morning I didn't even want to get out of bed. I wanted to sleep all day not take a step outside my apartment. But I shoved myself out of bed, prompted by all of the things that were on my schedule. And what a world I stepped out into. Sunny and warm. Green grass, bright blooms on the trees. Everywhere I turned, everyone I talked to mirrored back to me the affirmation of life.

And on this day when I remember myself three years ago, ready to quit, unwilling to participate in the life around me and in me, this song makes me think of the time that I have spent asleep figuratively. Tossing and turning in a snug cocoon of depression. Blind to the love all around me. Fearful. Empty.

So on days like this, when it is suddenly spring and the days ahead of incomprehensibly promising, it's astonishing to view everything that has been growing beneath the surface. Trees that I feel sure weren't there a week ago (which could just be a trick of the landscapers), cardinals perched in green bushes, birds singing just before sunrise, clear skies. And nature isn't the only revelation. There are opportunities to serve and proclaim the Word of the Lord, and Madi, her long awaited return, music and images and poetry to be created, and a family I have made, a shelter of love.

It's springtime. The world and I are waking up together.