With enough pressure to hold you together

Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of my twin sized bed. My head hurt as I worried about the dirty laundry piling up, the anticipated mail, my apparent lackfulness, the manuscripts, the unkempt ends of my hair. I dressed and brushed my hair, trying to smile like the Mona Lisa, letting my bangs lay in my eyes so that my hair became a cloak.

In my studio I read Live From the Homesick Jamboree and couldn't stay awake, lullabied by the rushing river outside my window. I hadn't expected to feel homesick because I'd been having so much fun the way I hadn't expected to be awoken by a vacuum rattling in the hallway. I stumbled over to lunch, where the sweet potato stew with chick peas and apricots and Israel couscous from the night before was magically transformed. I kept thinking of the pictures I'd seen on Facebook some friends at the Indy pride parade. One was wearing a rainbow shirt advertising free hugs. I desperately imagined it would come to that, I'd have to stand outside of the Red Mill with a sign inviting people to hold and be held.

In my haze I bumped into one of the founders of VSC. He noticed that my hair was down as opposed to the first few days I was here and asked if that meant I was letting loose. I confided that I was trying to hide, while I coped with a sudden case of homesickness. I assured him that I was having a good time though. He made a reassuring sound and gave me a great hug. Letting go he asked what I missed. I told him hugs. The embrace of familiar limbs and torsos, the ability to hear a heart beat, lungs to fill and empty. He smiled and opened his arms to give me another hug. Welcome to the necessary comforting hug. We talked about Thich Nhat Hahn and his hugging meditation, the proper way to hug and be hugged, none of this willy-nilly patting and petting. Breathing in and breathing out then letting go. He suggested we create a signal for whenever we need a hug in the future, a little nose tap or ear tug. Though it is more likely that we will just hug whenever we see each other at meals, almost as if a hug were a vitamin or dose of medication to be taken with food or a glass of milk.

The rest of the day, overcast as it was, swam along. Today is grand. One nickname the other artists have bestowed on me is The Party Planner. I've organized a Girl Talk dance party for tonight after we have drinks at The Hub. The sun is out, I have clean laundry, clipped ends, and a bright postcard from Mara on my cork board. I met with the visiting poet today after lunch received very constructive feedback on his & Hers. If this isn't nice I don't know what is y'all. Though I think I might still make that sign.

"Sing, if you can sing, and if not still be musical inside yourself."
--Mary Oliver, More Evidence

Location:Pearl St,Johnson,United States