Salve Nos/Nunc Dimittis

The Nunc Dimittis or the Canticle of Simeon is part of the Gospel of Luke. It's the canticle recited with the Salve Nos during Compline, the night prayer of the church. The first time that I ever heard the Salve Nos, though I did not know it at the time, I was approaching the boundary between being Protestant and being Catholic. It was the spring of my freshman year at Notre Dame and I was at the Basilica for Tenebrae on Good Friday. My first Holy Week at Notre Dame. It was after the Easter Vigil that I decided to make the move to inquire about RCIA, something that had been on my mind and in my heart for the entire school year. I felt a core connection to Catholicism, idealistically, intellectually and instinctively. My journey through RCIA and officially becoming Catholic with have to be something we discuss later. But I distinctly remember that Tenebrae service and singing the Salve Nos, hoping and knowing I would sleep well that night.

Lyrics:
Protect us Lord as we stay awake. Watch over us as we sleep. That awake we may keep watch with Christ and asleep rest in his peace.
Lord now you let your servant go in peace; your word has been fulfilled. My eyes have seen the salvation which you have prepared in the sight of every people, a light to reveal you to the nations and the glory of your people, Israel.
Protect us Lord as we stay awake. Watch over us as we sleep. That awake we may keep watch with Christ and asleep rest in his peace.

Sunday night I was so tired, I was feeling a little mopey and cranky which is not a pretty combination for me. I met Bren at the library to try to get some more work done, finish the blog post I'd been working on since 4pm and then I was going to go to bed. By the time I finally posted, I was strongly doubting that what I wrote was any good... but I was also too tired and pained to put anymore energy into it.
One thing I love about Bren is that I just can't be mad when I'm with him. Because I look at him and he makes a face or says something hilarious or just smiles and I can't stop laughing. I mean I'm still feeling whatever I was feeling but now I'm laughing on top of it and the emotions can't win over laughter. Laughter is too strong.
I coaxed Bren into walking me home and I was really glad that he did. Because once we got in the door I just felt loopy. I remember saying that I was just going to stay up, how I couldn't go to sleep, I had too much work to do and I was going to cut off all my hair and I was so tired and I wanted a cigarette and I was sad and I wanted Bren to cut off my arm with a butter knife.
Bren is a very good sport. Ever the voice of reason he told me I was definitely going to sleep, I was not going to cut my hair or he would shave his beard, (I love his beard I've threatened to quit being his friend if he shaves it) he took the remainder of my cigarettes after we shared one and politely refused to cut off my arm. I remember feeling bad because I was keeping him from getting back to the library to work and being really fussy on top of that.
While we were sitting on the couch Bren, in his efforts to get me to bed, decided to "hypnotize" me. I was very unwilling. "Breathe in. And out. Now just keep doing that." He took the prayer book from the table by the door and read several prayers from it and before I could doze off completely he shuffled me to the stairs (Mike Thomas style) so I could go and get into bed. I fought it a little but he insisted that I was going to have a great dream and sleep so well, and I remembered the night before having a dream about Michael and I saving these dolphins. So, I agreed. And then he stood at the foot of the stairs and sang the nunc dimittis and salve nos.
That was the best part. I never remember being sung to or rocked or read at bedtime. I remember my stepdad used to tell me scary stories as I was heading to bed, things that still used to terrify me until just a few years ago. But I really loved that: being sung to, and as my eyes were closing I couldn't think of a single thing to worry about. All I had was the immensity of love, how much I loved Bren and how much Bren must love me, and I was very happy as I went to sleep. Because I don't think I give Bren enough credit sometimes. But I really love and appreciate him, and he's very good to me.